[never read a book recommendation faster than this one.]
"Depending on where I focus and how much pressure I apply to the back of my throat, I can just about blot him out."
"This place commands total dedication or it will eject you. I really would rather die than go home."
"Part of me is proud that she gets to have all this - knowing that we come from the same place and that she's earned it. Another part of me wonders if she's secretly Republican."
"I imagine the woman on the train, clutching the subway pole because no one will give up their seat for her. I want to fight them all."
"I can't wait to get out of these fucking jeans. All I want to do is peel off this costume, step into the shower, eat the world, and go to bed."
"Turns out Jeremy is an only child. An only child who carries nothing because the kindness of strangers never fails him."
"Design school in Manhattan is Hunger Games for East Asian kids with severe haircuts. I can't tell if I'm the racist one for feeling like we're interchangeable, but all the incentives seem scammy to me."
"I don't respond, seething. Instead I check Tinder. I swipe and swipe and swipe and swipe. It's dazzling how disposable we all are."
"I hang my coat, marveling at the superabundant closet space. A life beyond breaking shitty plastic hangers every time you shove excess clothing inside."
"I want her to tell me the day, the hour, and the exact minute when she'll die. And I want her to go away so I can start preparing for it now with zero new memories because I have enough that I'll miss."
"Even in Texas, where we moved later that year. Enormous, ridiculous Texas. Where everything was so flat you could feel all hundred and eighty degrees of sky at your shoulders."
"Sorting scary, unfathomable variables like infant mortality rates by relating them to economics makes us feel safer. That if we can predict it or draw a little line, we'll be protected from them, at the very least, feeling stupid."
"It's why randomness is unacceptable. Why organized religion is a salve. It's far more palatable to think of a divine order. Why conspiracies are easier to stomach over psychopaths making a rash decision that alters the course of history."
"I'm too scared to talk about it, but sometimes I worry that I don't exist. That I don't count."
"All I could think was how I didn't want a friend who was anything like me. I have enough of me to go around."
"All the sex I've ever had seemed inevitable. It wasn't wrought but ordained. It was like watching someone fall from a height. We all know where it's going."
"Secrets are like wishes. Everyone knows they don't work if you tell. But if you really want them to gain power, you can't acknowledge that they even exist."
"I keep going, putting my mouth where people shit and abasing myself the way I always do, trying to exorcise the hate and anger and never managing to get it all out."
"I'm crying. And watching myself cry only amplifies my sadness. I'm filled with devastating pity for every single mirror version of me, all those times before, the youngest ones making me saddest of all. Watching myself have compassion for me in the absence of anyone else makes me cry harder."
"Humans need to share their darkest parts. Unburdening makes you closer to everyone."
"I thought a polished appearance and stellar behavior would be the passport to belonging. And when I inevitably failed at perfection, I could at least willfully do everything in my power to be kicked out before anyone left me."
No comments:
Post a Comment