"Empathetic accountability requires developing the emotional and intellectual fitness to entertain contradictory thoughts at the same time... not about feeling sorry for wrongdoers but about recognizing their humanity."
"We can say what we mean and mean what we say, but we don't have to be mean about it."
"we rightfully resist demands that we be polite to our oppressors when voicing our outrage."
"call out culture is born out of an under-reaction to abuse and overreaction to conflict."
"There are people who say we need to burn it all down to be able to build a new society. But if we can't find people to build power with now, how are we going to find them in the ashes?"
"More information doesn't make people change their behavior if they don't think the source of that information has their best interests at heart."
"Transitional demands are an important way to practice nonviolent social change."
"When many people have different ideas but move in the same direction, that's a movement. When people have the same idea and move in the same direction, that's a cult."
"Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." - MLK
"When you ask someone to give up hate, you need to be there for them when they do."
"Empathy means extending your circle of care to strangers beyond your kith and kin."
"It takes courage to be true to your own integrity, especially when there are benefits to doing otherwise."
"Since I was unwilling to question if I was wrong, I didn't do anything right."
"Anyone working for change needs to be able to channel charged emotions without being overcome by them."
"Calling in techniques: (1) Start with the self; (2) Calibrate the conflict; (3) Approach with love; (4) Accept the reaction; (5) Reach a solution."
"I like to hold meetings where the whole organization - or a series of breakout rooms - can discuss their understandings of conflict and power dynamics."
"You can start by helping people recognize their own tendencies to engage in call out culture."
"The point is not to encourage public confessions but for everyone to think about their patterns and to ask themselves if this the best they can do."
"Our goals in identifying their different degrees and sources of conflict is to create a culture where we're not treating every offense as an emergency. Instead, we're creating channels for deescalating conflicts."
"Advance understanding is about trying to reach a shared perspective on conflict before a crisis arises."
"Advance accountability is about creating a set of practices that we can use to navigate conflicts once they've erupted."
"Power differentials make it harder for employers to be candid unless extra reassurance is provided (and meant)."
"In a call out culture, it's common for agreements to turn into arguments; re-expression helps turn conflicts back into conversations."
"The problem with not standing up to injustice is that it normalizes it. It makes it seem that those who violate the human rights of others are not doing anything weird. A calling in mindset should make us braver and less likely to ignore the injustices around us."
"Calling in works on the assumption that people want to work well together but need more skills to do so."
"If you don't know someone well enough to call them in, if they haven't directly harmed you, if you're not involved in the actual situation - then you shouldn't be calling them in or out. You're just adding noise."
"At the heart of a call in culture is that simple of act of love."
"Healing and reconciliation cannot take place without truth and accountability first, without addressing the conditions and the feelings that caused the harm in the first place."
"The more consistently we call ourselves in, the more we learn to enjoy the learning we are gifted from others. If you are peacefully aligned with your values, you can talk to anyone and take joy in the messiness of us all stumbling through being human together."
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